Exiled to the Pointless Forest

I’m going to make “teh” a word so that I stop misspelling “the.”

That is all.

Why do all gay men affect Flock of Seagulls hair-dos?

Another NYU student jumped into Bobst’s atrium floor. Plexiglass=useless.

Input from various, random strangers would be utterly appreciated

If you don’t already know, I adjunct at two separate colleges in NJ. One is a pretty well-known community college an hour away that I work for at ridiculous, indentured servant rates. I have done this for over three years—working the absolute maximum allowable courses each semester with no unionization—in the hopes of being hired full time. The last position was given to an adjunct (who was and still is my arch nemesis) and another department also hired an adjunct, so I’m hoping that they give preference to adjuncts even though the official word, which I’ve heard a million times, is that they do not. The other college I work for is a well-known state university that pays double what the other school pays. I consistently teach one section each semester there because it’s close and lucrative (relatively) and looks great on my CV. I have never taken up more courses because I’ve been putting all my eggs (well, all my career eggs) in the community college basket. But, I will never ever be hired there full time because I do not have a PhD…and I’m not going for one anytime soon. Unless that money tree I planted in the backyard begins sprouting soon.

Now, I’m trying to figure out my schedule for next semester. I offered to teach two sections at the community college instead of three because The Goose is only going to be six-months-old by the time I start working again. And the school is, as I’ve said, an hour away. When I put in for sections, I received an email stating that the days and times I requested could not be “guaranteed” but that the person scheduling would try their best. Oooookay, I’ve never had that issue in the three years I’ve worked there…but I’ve also always worked the maximum. I also put in a wide-open schedule to teach one class at the state university.

Today, I interviewed at a smaller, private school that is, literally, four minutes from my home. The place pays more than the community college I currently work at but there is basically no hope of a full time position. I can teach up to two sections there per semester, and the chair would love to have me. He said it, so I’m not tooting my own horn. (toot toot) But to add this college to my roster would mean a) that I would be teaching four sections again; b) that I would be teaching at three different schools with three different schedules, requirements, and spring breaks; and c) I’d be working at three schools and teaching four classes AND taking care of a six-month-old.

Oh, and there’s a wrench in the whole situation: I am waiting on the state university’s schedule before I can provide a schedule for the new college. If I wait too long, the new college might not have room for me. And there is no chance for full time, but there is a teeny chance of a directorship in another area.

So what the heck should I do? I have some scenarios.

1) I can teach at all three schools and basically want to eat a bullet every single day of my life for four months. I would, though, make $10,200 over the course of the semester. STOP LAUGHING THIS INSTANT! One caveat: if the schedules do not mesh, I would be teaching three classes (none of which at the new, closer school) and only make $7,200.

2) I could respectfully decline to work next semester at the community college and ask to work two classes at the new college. I would make $9,600 for three sections (I would only make $600 more to teach a whole extra class in Scenario 1). This seems like the best idea because I’d never have to commute an hour each way again, but then I’m most likely done at the community college forever. If a line did come up, I would probably never be hired because I bailed as an adjunct.

3) Worst case: the community college screws me and I wait too long for the new college to be scheduled, so I only teach one class at the state school and make a whopping $3,600 for four months worth of work. (John makes that in less than three weeks. STOP LAUGHING AGAIN!)

I’m also vaguely thinking about going back for my education certification, thereby allowing me to teach high school when The Goose becomes old enough to go to school. How does this affect the possible scenarios? I don’t know; I just thought I’d include it.

Input, by anyone, would be excellent. Comment, please.