Eff this effing game
Me: Show me how to play this stupid game.John (handing me the controller): Push the left analog to aim. Push the right analog to shoot. Use the right thumbstick to move back and forth, and the left thumbstick to move right and left.
Me: I can do this. (Makes little soldier avatar move sloooowly through CG rubble. Get killed.) Oops. Why am I not killing anyone? I want to kill people.
John: You can only kill people highlighted in red.
Me: Why?
John: Because green is your team.
Me: Well, can't I kill them?
John: We disabled that function.
Me (Makes soldier on screen mince around a corner): I can't find anyone in red!
John: You have to run to catch people. Press this button. (Demonstrates)
Me (presses a button and throws a bomb instead. Kills self.): Fuck this stupid game.
Dec 18th
Babies cry? Really?
The baby has begun teething and/or has a head cold. Snuffaluffagus cried so much in the last day...
Dec 18th
I bought the shirt. Crisis averted.
Dec 18th
blueeyedgreek:
My boss knows me all too well. LOVES IT!
...
Dec 17th
If someone does not purchase this (on sale!!!) t-shirt for...
Dec 17th
Insert my sleep-deprived face here. Sick kids = woah.
Dec 17th
(via bellavita)
There was a student in one of my classes...
Dec 17th
My genes are dominant. Thank you, Lord.
Dec 15th
fuckyeahtattoos:
This was taken the day I got my first...
Dec 15th
(via bellavita)
This is what it’s like feeding a...
Dec 13th
Friday's timetable
7:40 am: Get up. Not bad considering I have a small child. What is it, 8 am? No? Awesome! I...
Dec 13th
My bookcase: a list
yearbooks, Anne of Green Gables, Jarhead (signed, booyah), work texts, critical theory texts, a...
Dec 12th
she’s too short so we have to use PMLA issues to...
Dec 12th
itsbeautiful's shop on etsy
Dec 12th
work in progress
Dec 12th
What is your Jersey Shore nickname?
Dec 11th
Watch
Thanks, Meghan, for this super funny clip from Jimmy Fallon. You’ll realize it’s the...
Dec 11th
"So some old bitch at the movies..."
The title of this post is how I hope some young girl’s bloggy rant began a couple days ago....
Dec 10th
FWD:Look closely and tell me why we need higher standards...
Dec 8th
Christina the Red-Nosed Shopper
Dec 7th
No...it seems everyone is crazy
Dec 6th
Billy Joel's daughter Alexa Ray Attempts...
Dec 6th
And I am ghey.
Dec 4th
Watch
blueeyedgreek:
shiningstar:
daveholmes:robhuebel:
(not meant to be funny)
This woman is...
Dec 4th
I only have to let the car idle for 10...
Shenanigans! My father told me that a car needs to “heat up” before it’s driven in...
Dec 4th
Obama
Not happy about Obama’s speech last night. I am not saying that troops are not needed....
Dec 2nd
Two Teachers Text
Bobert: A 5th grader has a Ron Reagan beanie baby and I want to steal it!Me: Oh My Ghod...steal it. I demand it of you.
Bobert: Haha he carries it with him everywhere.
Me: Pat him down...little kids should be easy to fleece. We need that to match John's Ron Reagan watch!
Dec 2nd
Let’s talk for a moment about baby clothes. Most...
Dec 2nd
sararenee:
libraryland:
cakecatscuriosity:
(via...
Dec 1st
Advent calendars
Even though the chocolate inside tastes like utter crap, I still buy and eat my way through a Trader...
Dec 1st