December 2009
47 posts
Happy Birthday
My grandfather is 101 years old today. If genetics are a clue, I am never dying.
“Here’s to books, the cheapest vacation you can buy.”
– Charlaine Harris (via kari-shma) (via sararenee)
Hello, rap songs of the early 2000s
Me: (sending a picture of the Goose and her earrings) Earrings...and a thrombo ensued.
Rob: Aww, she looks so cute with them. She needs some ice to flaunt now haha
Me: My mom and dad got her diamonds
Rob: Hahaha, now she's living the life. Does she leave the sticker on her Bentley to show the price?
Me: Ahahahaha and she has a playstation, DVD
Rob: Hahaha
Me: She'd get her roll on if she wasn't sleeping.
Rob: She will when she gets up.
Me: She'll spin those tires like a motha.
“Wanna see a dead body? … Come on, it’s Christmas!”
– from a family member on Christmas day.
2 tags
WatchMerry Christmas Eve. And, remember, most of the people on Jersey Shore are from New York.
Goldman Custody Case
Some news stories, with their extensive coverage, bore me to death. I’m looking at you, Mister Woods. But this Goldman custody case, in which a father has been fighting a Brazilian family for his son, is one that I watch as if I were a participant. I don’t know if it is savvy journalism or that David Goldman is just heart-breaking in interviews, but I feel as if I have personal stake...
Kids and snow, man, kids and snow
With the introduction of a child into my life, a few things have changed. My jeans don’t fit the same anymore. I can’t sleep late. I taught someone to roll over. I know the songs in Wonder Pets. The biggest change, though, has been to my social calendar. If you didn’t know, children curtail the ability to go out. It’s true. They don’t like bars and they never, ever...
2 tags
Eff this effing game
Me: Show me how to play this stupid game.
John (handing me the controller): Push the left analog to aim. Push the right analog to shoot. Use the right thumbstick to move back and forth, and the left thumbstick to move right and left.
Me: I can do this. (Makes little soldier avatar move sloooowly through CG rubble. Gets killed.) Oops. Why am I not killing anyone? I want to kill people.
John: You can only kill people highlighted in red.
Me: Why?
John: Because green is your team.
Me: Well, can't I kill them?
John: We disabled that function.
Me (makes soldier on screen mince around a corner): I can't find anyone in red!
John: You have to run to catch people. Press this button. (Demonstrates)
Me (presses a button and throws a bomb instead. Kills self.): Fuck this stupid game.
1 tag
Babies cry? Really?
The baby has begun teething and/or has a head cold. Snuffaluffagus cried so much in the last day that the hours have melted into each other like clocks in a Dali painting. At one point, she stopped sobbing and started playing in her exersaucer. She even looked up at me and smiled. Then, she sneezed and a big blob of boogery baby snot bubbled out of her left nostril. So she cried some more.
...
I bought the shirt. Crisis averted.
Friday's timetable
7:40 am: Get up. Not bad considering I have a small child. What is it, 8 am? No? Awesome! I don’t have to leave the house until 10:45…I have time to shower, get dressed, and hang out with the baby.
8:15 am: Pad downstairs with the Goose. Make coffee. Eat yogurt. Watch The Today Show.
8:30 am: Decide to give the wiggly worm a bath in the sink because small babies like to stick their...
My bookcase: a list
yearbooks, Anne of Green Gables, Jarhead (signed, booyah), work texts, critical theory texts, a partial list of Foucault’s body of work (The History of Sexuality: an introduction, Madness and Civilization, Discipline and Punish, The Essential Foucault), more critical theory texts, minority fiction novels used for my MA thesis (Ceremony, The Rain God, No-No Boy), Geek Love, The Body in Pain,...
itsbeautiful's shop on etsy →
God, I love this person’s jewelry. If anyone is interested in buying me gifts (for Christmas, Hanukkah, being me, bribery) buy me something from here. I like this especially:
What is your Jersey Shore nickname? →
ellenclare:
carlyj:carolinek:allthingsalishan:dailykayla:kimbaland:artinslowmotion:
Mine is: The Tan-trum
Mine is C-Pow. I like the one it generated for Erin better…The Marisa Tomei of the Bronx. Damn.
WatchThanks, Meghan, for this super funny clip from Jimmy Fallon. You’ll realize it’s the theme from “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” about a line into it. Sounds pretty good when “Neil Young” sings it.
I have to find his SNL “Christmas Time” too.
"So some old bitch at the movies..."
The title of this post is how I hope some young girl’s bloggy rant began a couple days ago. And that “old bitch”? Me. I’m getting older and I can’t say it bothers me.
On Sunday, I finally decided that the hordes of retarded tweens fantasizing about the ugliest celebrity alive were probably finished packing the movies theaters. The Twilight Saga: New Moon has been out...
No...it seems everyone is crazy →
Prof. Emeritus Richard T. Antoun stabbed, killed at Binghamton University by grad student whose dissertation he was set to judge.
Billy Joel's daughter Alexa Ray Attempts Suicide →
No NYU alum is safe.
I only have to let the car idle for 10 seconds...
Shenanigans! My father told me that a car needs to “heat up” before it’s driven in the winter. Now, I’ve learned that a car only needs 10 seconds of idling—the time it takes me to plug in the iPod and turn on the same darn playlist I’ve had for two years—before putting it in Drive. Excessive idling can, get this, hurt the engine in the long run.
My father...
Obama
Not happy about Obama’s speech last night. I am not saying that troops are not needed. I’m not arguing about his plan. I’m just displeased with the double talk. Change is not imminent. Ineptitude just has a new face.
The only bright spot is that smug liberals can’t be all self-righteous now, can they?
Two Teachers Text
Bobert: A 5th grader has a Ron Reagan beanie baby and I want to steal it!
Me: Oh My Ghod...steal it. I demand it of you.
Bobert: Haha he carries it with him everywhere.
Me: Pat him down...little kids should be easy to fleece. We need that to match John's Ron Reagan watch!
Advent calendars
Even though the chocolate inside tastes like utter crap, I still buy and eat my way through a Trader Joe’s Advent calendar every December. Let the holidays begin!