December 2011
51 posts
1 tag
I'm doing NYE in my pajamas
Yes, I’m going to a party in pajamas. ‘Cause that’s how I roll!
4 tags
I was just resting my eyes
Since I was little, one of my worst fears is a home invasion. I’ve had nightmares, right through buying the new house, of a stranger somehow getting into the joint and creeping into my bedroom while I sleep. Rape, death, Publisher’s Clearing House…the end result doesn’t matter. It’s so terrifying, I’ve made escape routes for each of my abodes. My childhood home?...
3 tags
Toes
I’m getting my toes done today…what color?
2 tags
4 tags
Christmas Eve
Today is the family’s official favorite holiday. Not tomorrow, when gifts are given, but today, when we spend time with family and friends.
This year is different. Some people are gone, and the day is going to start oddly off-kilter. But I’m making a concerted effort to bring some serious Christmas cheer to the ancestral estate. I’m bringing presents, cookies (Reese’s...
2 tags
I have the funniest family
Sister's FB Status: So I now smell like vanilla. Why you ask? Because I spilt a tablespoon of it all over myself. Atleast it's a good smell.
Me: Are you a stripper?
Sis: What????
Me: Strippers smell like vanilla.
Sis: Ummmm no I am not!
Sister-in-Law: @Chrissy: how do you know what strippers *smell* like?
Me: side job
Sis: Only my sister! [SIL} at least you are not blood related to her... Poor [niece] though, our crazy blood runs through her veins.
Me: I'm not crazy. I needed "college money."
SIL: At least she will be creative! I'm going to now attempt to come up with what I think Chrissy's stripper name would have been...
Me: Go ahead. You'll get a prize if you do. I'm stripperstiltzkin.
SIL: Do you have a "now spin this into gold, bitches" tattoo?
Me: I spin my stripper pole into gold...or dolla billz!
SIL: All I can up with is lame pseudo raunchy stuff you would have said, given your major... Like "Baby got Steinbeck"....Or..."Edgar Allen Poe some digs on me, baby..."
Sis: Don't you mean Edgar Allen Ho?
Me: "Faulkner? Barely Touched Her."
SIL: Nice. How about "Thoreau" some of dat ass my way, baby!
Me: Do you need help?
Goose: I'm picking my booger.
Me: That's gross.
Goose: Not your hand. You can't pull (sticks fingers up right nostril).
“I want cookies. And milk. And marshmallows.”
– Goose. Smart kid.
1 tag
DONE!
When I post grades tomorrow, I will have officially finished my teaching career.
I’m a little sad because, despite the shyte paycheck and isolation of adjuncting, I genuinely liked teaching students comp, rhetoric, and lit.
But Shakespeare got to get PAID, son! New job in 2012.
1 tag
1 tag
My niece is sometimes the coolest person alive. In...
1 tag
I was funnier in 2009: a FB note I randomly found
You have received this note because someone thinks you are a literary geek. Copy the questions into your own note, answer the questions, and tag any friends who would appreciate the quiz, including the person who sent you this. Don’t bother trying to italicize your book titles. We know you want to…
———————————-
1)...
Little Triumphs
I’m playing a nine-year-old in Words with Friends. And I’m kicking butt. Thank God.
1 tag
hellociara replied to your photo: I love you, Bryant Park dumpling stand. Your…
that looks so good! ^_^
Oh my Lord, but it was. My cup was waaaay bigger than Aimee’s dumpling soup cup, but I ate the whole thing. And I liked it.
4 tags
Coffee and All-Bran Crackers may not have been the...
Yup. Not so smart on my part.
But I shall take pictures (after I apply makeup) to show the tumblr-verse the City in all its splendor.
Or it will be a bunch of shots of me eating peppermint Pinkberry.
I used a smart board for the first time today
And I realize I’m most likely stupid.
Apparently, I can't click the "Answer Privately"...
starbucksandshakespeare asked: I think you do! I love Didion! I just purchased We Tell Ourselves Stories in Order to Live. I'm planning on working my way through all of her books during winter break.
starbucksandshakespeare asked: I wasn't aware of most people on tumblr loving Joan Didion. Most people I know are only familiar with The Year of Magical Thinking. Maybe it's just a coincidence? Only about two of the people I follow have ever mentioned her. lol.
Redemption
The Goose: I love you. (Hugs me.)
Me: I love you too, baby.
Goose: You're my mother (pronounced "mudder").
6 tags
1 tag
Joan Didion
Is it a prerequisite that, when you join tumblr, you must offer your allegiance to Joan Didion?
Are we a cult?
1 tag
“Christina [redacted] has accepted a job as [redacted] and will begin in the...”
– Former Director via faculty listserv email.
4 tags
3 tags
Another installment of Why Kids are Hard
You really have to love kids to be a parent. If not, you’ll run screaming into on-coming traffic.
Let’s recap this week thus far, shall we?
On Monday, I came down with the stomach flu from hell. After staying at work for a record-breaking eight minutes, I drove home, puked on the side lawn and the kitchen sink (yes, there were dishes in there), and slept for hours. My sister...
1 tag
I see a theme here
February—The Darkness
March—Black Keys
Booyah. I love NYC.
And, in my old people glory, I think we have seats for Black Keys. This makes me retardedly happy.
3 tags
Absolutely Fabulous 20th Anniversary Special... →
Logo, I love you. I sat down yesterday and watched five episodes of my perennially-favorite English show and laughed so hard I needed Depends.
Saffy Darling, it’s Lacroix. Lacroix, darling!
1 tag
1 tag
February 4th, I believe in a thing called love
The Darkness! YESSSS
Friends bought me a ticket to see TD at Irving Plaza next year. Holy crap, do I have telepathic/awesome friends (ADAM AND MARISA) or what?
Happy New Year
Official start date: January 2nd
Children's programming
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy not to watch “Little Bill,” but if I have to watch “The Little Mermaid” one.more.time…
2 tags
Why I've been quiet
It’s all good news, so don’t get panicky.
I most likely have a brand-spanky new full time job. So I’m being careful what I write on the interwebs. You understand.
I can still talk about the Goose and such, but not work for a while.
Thanks for not unfollowing immediately.
1 tag
My stomach and I are breaking up
It’s obviously trying to leave my body via any egress it can find.
what.the.frack.
3 tags
I broke even in Atlantic City
…and, no matter how sloppy drunk or sleep deprived I would ever get I will never, EVER be as sad as four-quarters of the messes at the Wikki Wikki Wild Wild West bar last night.
I call it a score!
Thank you, Sweet Baby Jesus
My phone is back!!! YAY!
A one-of-a-kind ‘Golden Girls’ Christmas | Greg... →
Why is this not in NYC?!?
Whaaaaaaaa
My phone took a bath today.
It’s dead and I’m physically upset. You mean I have to speak to people face-to-face or, gasp, call them on our landline?!?