doree:

adrianeq:

fiatluxemburg:

katiebakes:

In college I finally had the epiphany that I could ignore alleged “deadlines” simply by emailing my papers to my teachers/TAs but oops! neglecting to attach the file! This never, ever failed.

But here’s an even better way, via Brandon, to dodge those before-5pm-on-Friday-or-else requirements: Corrupted-Files.com. Because, as their website prompts, don’t turn in a “Garbarge” Paper! Send a corrupted file instead!

Didn’t you see the clear instructions on the top of the page to KEEP THIS SITE A SECRET?

Okay kids, here’s what IIII did. I requested extensions for almost every paper I ever wrote. I figured out that teachers respected you more for being a sloppy student, since it seemed like you had a lot going on, then, and teachers—like kids and twenty-somethings and sixty year olds—would rather be friends with someone who cavorted in the high pantheons of “more important things.” You could then strike up a conversation about how you were like, the edtior of two newspapers and took six credits and just would rather write a really strong paper and then they’d like, give you a month. Then you could actually do a really good job. And then, since you’d told them you were so busy, they’d think you were like some genius descended from the angels. Really, you were at Myrtle.

Guess what, everyone. I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but really, professors know exactly what you’re up to. They really do. In my other life I taught history to college students and I heard every excuse known to man. But I had a late paper policy (I think it was 1/3 of a grade down from what you would have gotten for every day late.) that seemed to work pretty well. And if a kid “forgot” to attach their paper to their email and then mysteriously disappeared for three days, then it was pretty easy to figure out what had happened. Also, the whole busy act got old. Everyone at these schools is busy, all the time! Deal with it!

Okay, I’m going back to pretending that part of my life didn’t actually happen, now.

Amen! I know all the tricks. Your excuses mean nothing and most syllabi have an addendum stating that emailed papers are not accepted. Haha, bitches.